I need to learn how to start writing not...

Audio by Paper2Audio

I need to learn how to start writing notes about my experiences and miracles ive seen and witnessed in this life. God is real, not because i believe in science but because ive experiienced such unique moments , there would be no other explanation but for to be a supernatural god encounter. '

Fissrt i would like to get into a brief summary of my childhood. i grew up like most christians in america. living in a family home that would claim a title of chirstian values and morals despite in not seeming like that in my eyes, viewing it as if i was a spectator in a different dimension.

Before i go any further in my testimon9ial message, let be go on into a little soliloquy to my God. i thank my god and saavior jesus christ who has revealed the mystery of the gospel to me. i am overwhelmed with sorrow yet gratitude that god has shown me grace and mercy as i know i do not deserve it. what makes me any different from another man. praise be to god who sees his creation and has mercy on there rebelious behavior and wrathful hearts. For gods love is too good to even understand, may he forever have mercy onn me, my family and even my enemies, as i too was once an enemy.

as i now begin to understand this incoprehsiblle gospel message i still continue to ponder why certain things in my life. why did i wxperience such evil. and how could spiritual attacks happen to me in this life. how is it, that ive felt, seen, and experince such fear from strange terrifying demonic opression. when i was younger i would have many nightmares. would this be due to the house being inhabited by spirit possibly because the house previousy was owned by some type of witch or occultisst. i do not know. a few moments to recall would be a moment in wjcih i felt a unpkeasant presence enter my room almost every night. it would fill the room with feeling, that feeling was a dark, negative and fearful feeling. it would sit on my bed near my feet area and i would begin to tremble, some times i would pray in my head out of fear that this thing would hear me. this went on for years until i confronted it one night and it never did it again. which that in itself is its own story. despite that tempporay break i contuned to experince weird things happening in the home as i was in my teenage years. the spirit or spirits i do not know would brush against the back of my neck and hair and i knew it was something demonic.

years go by and i find myself unhappy, depressed, anxiety filled and with no hope. i move out of my fathers home some years after high school. im inn my early 20s now and i feel no better. in this season in my i found myself in no better spot. i now had my own apartment, a nice car and after gyming and strict dieting had a very my bodily physique, better than ive ever had. A physique that many would admire and only wish to have. but in these moents in life, those deep internal feeling of unhappiness and hopelessness were still there. i thought maybe i leveled up my character as ypu would like in a video game, stats, wealth, muscles, women, confidence, then, i would feel acomplished and have these feeling removed. but it didnt work, so i began to become sorta stoic mided thinking i must do , and ignore what seems unpleasent to achieche wat i feel on paper is success. whith this mindest it led me to start becoming an annilist minded. thinking not in this life matters, at all. everything is purpsoeless. we live to die.