THE SITCOM

by Unattributed

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the sitcom

episode 12: "Samanloo"

== Cold Open - "doctor Saroja" ==

5 panels before the title

Int. Boys H.Q - morning

[C.1] Boys H.Q, morning. Suraj on the sofa under a blanket,

damp cloth on his forehead placed by himself at an angle he

chose. Mild fever, maximum production values.

Anudeep stands over him with a strip of tablets and a glass

of water, entirely reasonable.

Anudeep

Idi paracetamol. Teesuko.

[C.2] Suraj turns his face away with the strength of a man

refusing a lesser offer.

Suraj

Vaddu.

Suraj

Nuvvu Kicha daggara ki vellu. Doctor Saroja

ni pilavamanu.

[C.3] Anudeep's face. He does not ask who Doctor Saroja is.

He has learned, over these forty days, that asking makes it

longer.

He walks off-panel.

Anudeep

(flat, off)

Kicha. Doctor Saroja ni pilavamanta.

[C.4] Kicha, in the kitchen, mid-bite. He stops chewing. He

puts the plate down. Something happens behind his

sunglasses that can only be described as vindication.

Kicha

(quietly, to himself)

Finally.

Kicha

Ippatiki time vachindi.

[C.5] A door. Kicha steps out - white bedsheet as an apron,

folded paper cap, phone cable arranged as a stethoscope,

sunglasses still on. One tablet on a small steel plate,

carried at chest height like a surgical tray.

Total commitment. No trace of a smile.

Kicha

Patient. Doctor Saroja vachindi.

Suraj's face: absolute, unguarded joy.

Narrator (V.O.)

Samanloo

[1] Twenty minutes later. Anudeep at the table with the

list - his handwriting, ruled columns, forty items. Jay

beside him, dressed, holding borrowed car keys.

Anudeep

Chivari vaaram. Forty items. Amma raasindi

sagam. Route kuda plan chesa.

Jay

Sare.

Int./EXT. the balcony - day

[2] Aishwarya comes over the rail, still in work clothes,

straight from a site visit.

S.F.X: thmp.

Aishwarya

Rendu gantalu naa daggara undi. Tarvata site

ki malli vellali.

(She will not go to the site.)

[3] Anudeep looks past them at the sofa.

Anudeep

Meeru randi ra.

[4] Reverse. Suraj, blanket to the chin, magnificent. Kicha

beside him in full costume, arms folded.

Suraj

Nenu raalenu.

Kicha

Doctor Saroja bed rest advise chesindi.

Suraj

(nodding slowly) Doctor cheppindi.

[5] The door closes.

S.F.X: click.

[6] Silence. Two men. One sofa. An entire day.

[7] They look at each other.

Int. Boys H.Q - day

[8] smash cut - the living room, transformed. A

hand-lettered card taped to the sofa arm: ward 1 bed 1. A

bucket. A hand-bell from somewhere. And hanging off the

sofa frame, a patient chart, ruled by hand.

Close on it. It is a page torn out of Kicha's Case File

notebook. The old heading is still visible at the top,

scratched out.

Narrator (V.O.)

It took them eleven minutes.

[9] Kicha at the foot of the sofa with the clipboard.

Taking a reading with total gravity.

Kicha

Temperature.

[10] Close on Kicha's hands. He is not holding a

thermometer. He is holding his phone.

He has the calculator open. He types 9 - 9 - . - 8.

[11] He turns the screen around and shows it to Suraj like

a diagnosis.

Kicha

Ninety-nine point eight.

[12] Suraj looks at the calculator. He accepts it

completely. He becomes visibly weaker.

Suraj

…ayyo.

[13] the market. Wide. Noise, tarpaulin, three people in a

crowd. Jay is already carrying everything. Nobody asked him

to.

[14] Anudeep with the list, calling items like a manifest.

Anudeep

Suitcase. Twenty-three kilo. Hard shell.

Aishwarya

Soft shell.

Anudeep

Hard shell ra, adi-

Aishwarya

Soft shell. Nenu ammuthanu kada, naaku

telusu.

Anudeep

Nuvvu flats ammuthav.

[15] Aishwarya, already walking to another stall.

Aishwarya

Andulo kuda saaman untundi.

[16] Jay, behind them, buying the soft shell one without

participating in the discussion.

[17] the ward. Suraj, propped up, gravely:

Suraj

Doctor. Naa heart rate enti?

[18] Kicha holds up the phone again. This time it is a

stock market app - a live candlestick chart, red and green,

jagged, plunging.

[19] He studies it for a long moment with professional

concern.

Kicha

…idi bagoledu.

[20] Suraj, craning to see the screen, genuinely alarmed by

a graph of the Nifty 50.

Suraj

Adi enduku kindaki poyindi?!

Kicha

Nuvvu ekkuva maatladuthunnav.

Suraj immediately stops talking.

[21] the market. The plug debate. Anudeep holding two

converters, presenting evidence.

Anudeep

Idi Type B. Adi Type A. America lo rendu

untayi. So-

Aishwarya

So rendu konu.

Anudeep

Rendu konte redundancy-

Aishwarya

Rendu konu.

[22] He buys both. She was right. He does not concede this

aloud.

[23] Jay, four bags now, watching them argue.

[24] And for one panel - no dialogue - he almost smiles.

[25] the ward. Suraj demands a second opinion.

[26] Kicha leaves frame. Returns having removed the paper

cap and put on Anudeep's spare glasses. Same clipboard.

That is the entire disguise.

Kicha

(deeper)

Namaskaram. Nenu senior doctor.

[27] Suraj, with total sincerity, to a man he has lived

with for four years:

Suraj

Sir, Doctor Saroja sarigga cheppaledu.

Kicha

(deeper)

Aavida junior. Experience thakkuva.

[28] A beat panel. Both men entirely serious. The bedsheet

has slipped off one shoulder.

[29] A key in the door. Muddamma. She takes in the ward -

the sign, the chart, the bell, the bedsheet, the glasses,

the clipboard.

[30] She crosses the room without a word and delivers a

mottikaya to Kicha's skull. Then, without pausing, one to

Suraj's.

S.F.X: tok. tok.

Kicha

-ah!

Suraj

-amma!

[31] She points at the kitchen.

Mudamma

Iddaru. Vellи thinandi. Ippude.

(Neither of them has eaten since morning. Neither of them

noticed.)

[32] Suraj, seizing the moment, clutches his chest and

spits a mouthful of rooh afza into a tissue - bright,

obviously red, obviously syrup.

Suraj

(weakly, magnificent)

Amma… naa kosam idi antha chesthunnara?

Close on Muddamma's face. She has raised four sons. She has

never in her life been less impressed.

Mudamma

…devuda.

[33] the market. Jay's phone rings. He looks at it slightly

too long before answering.

[34] He listens. Says four words. Hangs up.

Jay

Office. Vellali.

[35] He hands the four bags over - two to Anudeep, two to

Aishwarya. It takes six seconds. There is no ceremony to it

at all.

Anudeep

Ippude? Nuvvu-

Jay

Haan.

[36] And he's gone into the crowd. Anudeep watches him go.

Aishwarya watches Anudeep watch him go.

Two people and a list.

[37] the market, later. Something has changed and nobody

announced it. The list is in Aishwarya's hand now.

[38] It has become easy. They are not shopping efficiently

any more. They are just walking.

[39] She buys him something not on the list. He doesn't

notice her paying for it.

[40] the ward, intercut - and something has changed here

too.

Suraj is lying back with a pillow shoved up under the

blanket. An enormous, absurd, perfectly round belly.

Kicha is standing at the foot of the sofa with rolled-up

sleeves and a towel over one arm, looking at it with grave

professional focus.

Neither of them has explained how the cold became this.

[41] A small coffee place. Late afternoon. Six bags around

their feet, taking up more room than the table. Both

wrecked.

[42] Neither of them says anything for a panel. It isn't

awkward. It's the end of a long day.

[43] And then she asks it. Not carefully - she's too tired

to be careful, which is the only reason it comes out at

all.

Aishwarya

Asala U.S.A enduku ra?

[44] He doesn't deflect. It comes out organised, because he

has rehearsed it. Not for her. For himself.

Anudeep

Ikkada kuda career build cheyyochu. Nijam.

[45]

Anudeep

Ma family lo first masters grad nenu

avuthanu. Adi kuda undi.

[46]

Anudeep

Kaani ikkade unte… nenu slack avuthanu ra.

Naaku telusu naa gurinchi.

Anudeep

Ikkada comfortable ga untundi. Comfortable

ante - nenu aagipotanu.

[47]

Anudeep

Akkada growth opportunities ekkuva. Nenu

progress avuthunnanu ani feel avuthundi.

Anudeep

Technically debt lo untanu. Chala. Kaani…

feel avuthundi.

[48] He runs out. Looks at the table, slightly embarrassed

at having said all of it out loud.

Anudeep

Adi… adi konchem thakkuva reason la undha?

[49] Close on Aishwarya.

Aishwarya

Ledu.

It's true. She means it. It is the worst possible answer

for her.

[50] - the silence -

She looks at him. He doesn't notice, because he's still

looking at the table.

(No dialogue. No caption.)

[51] She picks up her cup. Puts it down without drinking.

Picks it up again.

(No dialogue.)

[52] Wide, from outside the window. Two people at a table,

six bags, one of them talking about a converter plug again

and one of them not hearing a word of it.

(No dialogue.)

[53] She straightens in the chair. Decision made. She is

not going to say it.

[54] And then, quietly, from across the table:

Anudeep

Okati cheptha. Em anukoku.

[55] Her entire system stops. Forty days arrive at once.

Aishwarya

Haan. Cheppu.

Beat.

Aishwarya

-wait. Asala em cheppaku.

[56] Anudeep, completely confused. From where he's sitting,

nothing has happened.

Anudeep

…cheppana, vaddha?

Aishwarya

(not looking at him) …cheppu.

Anudeep

Naa card close chesestharu ra. So ee bill-

She is already standing.

Aishwarya

Vadu. Fine. Nenu kadutha.

[57] Boys H.Q, night. The door opens. Bags first, then the

two of them - and they walk straight into it.

[58] wide. The living room mid-procedure. Suraj flat on the

sofa, belly enormous, gripping a cushion, roaring. Kicha at

the foot of the sofa, sleeves up, towel over his arm,

coaching.

Kicha

Push cheyyi. Push.

Suraj

Nenu cheyyalekapothunna

Kicha

Nuvvu strong ra. Nenu chusanu.

[59] Anudeep and Aishwarya in the doorway. Bags still in

their hands. Neither of them moves.

[60] the delivery. Kicha reaches under the blanket with

tremendous ceremony and produces - a balloon. White, tied,

drawn on with a face.

He holds it up in both hands, at arm's length, in the

classic posture.

Kicha

(to the ceiling, triumphant)

doctor Saroja finally tana first baby

delivery chesindi!

[61] He crosses the room and, with great solemnity, places

the balloon into Aishwarya's arms.

She takes it. She is still holding two shopping bags. Her

face is doing nothing at all.

[62] And before anyone can speak - Kicha reaches back under

the blanket and produces a second balloon. He hands it to

Anudeep.

Kicha

Meeku twins.

[63] Anudeep, delighted, phone already out.

the photo

Suraj propped on the sofa with the pillow

still under the blanket, exhausted and

radiant. Kicha beside him, towel over the

arm, sunglasses on. Aishwarya holding a

balloon. A new family portrait, taken by the

one person not in it.

S.F.X: click.

[64] Wide. Everyone talking at once.

And Aishwarya - not looking at anyone, entirely nonchalant,

mid-conversation - closes her hand around the balloon.

S.F.X: pop.

A beat of total silence. Every head turns.

Kicha

(genuinely stricken)

…what a monster.

And the room breaks. All four of them, properly, helplessly

- Suraj laughing so hard the pillow shifts, Anudeep bent

double, Kicha holding his own chest.

Aishwarya is laughing too.

She is the only one in the room who knows why.

end of episode 12

fade out.

(No end gag. The last panel is the end gag, and it isn't

one.)

She spent the afternoon holding something she decided not

to say. She was handed a joke about a baby by a man in a

bedsheet, in a room where everyone was happy, ninety

minutes after being told the reason he's leaving is a good

one and having to agree.

So she popped it. Casually. Mid-sentence. Without looking.

On the surface it's the funniest beat in the episode and

Kicha's "what a monster" is the biggest laugh in the

season. Underneath it's the only thing she does all day

with what she's carrying - and she does it in a room full

of people who read it as a bit.

The rule holds: nobody says anything. Everyone laughs. She

laughs. The reader is the only witness.

> This is the show's whole method in one panel - a joke and

a wound sharing a frame, and the characters only seeing the

joke.

Both halves are about care that cannot be said out loud.

- Suraj can only accept being looked after if it's staged,

with a role for the other person. So Kicha builds him a

hospital, invents Doctor Saroja, fakes a temperature on a

calculator, reads his pulse off the Nifty 50, and delivers

a balloon - nine straight hours, dead straight, no winking.

- Aishwarya can only give it as silence. She takes over the

list, buys him something he doesn't notice, pays a bill she

has no reason to pay, and says nothing.

- Muddamma is the only person in the episode who expresses

care directly, and she does it with two knuckles to the

skull and an order to eat.

You have reached the end of the text.