Making Time Visible

Stacey Shubitz, staceyshubitz dot substack dot com

Audio by Paper2Audio

Throughout upper elementary and middle school, many of my daughter's school days ended with a checklist of things to do before dinnertime.

Image summary: A photograph of a pale yellow sticky note resting on a white marble surface, featuring a handwritten daily checklist with small circles for checkboxes next to the items: unpack, snack, homework, set the table, read, screentime, and dinner.

Does this sound familiar? After my double mastectomy and reconstruction surgery in February 2025, I noticed my daughter's homework was taking much longer than usual. Since I couldn't move around easily, I wasn't able to guide her through her afternoon routine. Even with my parents living with us for nearly five months and doing their best to help, the problem continued.

Each time I had surgery, homework time appeared to stretch on. Even with a 20-minute cap per subject in high school, time slipped away when my daughter got into a flow and wanted to finish an assignment. Twenty minutes became an hour, then another, and suddenly it was bedtime. She was exhausted, with barely any time left to read for pleasure before sleep.

When I shared this with someone I trust, they helped me see that the problem wasn't about motivation, defiance, or forgetting the checklist. The real issue was how quickly time was passing.

Checklists only show what needs to be done, not how time actually feels. For neurodivergent kids, time can feel different, making it harder to use time effectively. Long to-do lists can overload working memory and lead to avoidance or freezing.

Over the past ten years, I've made more visual checklists for my daughter (and my son!) than I can count. I assumed she would pace herself and work through the list. By June, it was clear that to-do lists alone weren't enough. She needed something different.

The Concept of “Time Blindness”: The Cleveland Clinic defines time blindness as “the inability to recognize when time has passed or to estimate how long something will take.” As Dr. Steven Gans notes, “For people with A.D.H.D (attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder), time perception is disrupted, resulting in a symptom known as time blindness. This is the inability to sense the passing of time, and it can make nearly every aspect of a person's life more difficult. The important thing to understand is that it's more like a sensory issue than an intentional disregard for time.”

I'm still learning about this concept. In addition to the resources above, here are a few others I've found helpful as I learn more about time blindness.

- A.D.H.D and “time blindness” by Sarah Greenberg, M.A, Med

- A.D.H.D and: time perception with Dr. Monica Johnson

- How A.D.H.D Warps Time Perception: Strategies to Stop Wasting and Start Managing Time by Ari Tuckman, Psy.D.

- Understanding Time Blindness and How To Manage It by Sherri Gordon

- What Is Inattentive A.D.H.D? by Kristin Wilcox

Note: I find the prevailing term of “time blindness” to be ableist. For the remainder of this piece, I'll use the term time agnosia and the phrase differences in time perception.

I bought a visual timer to help with after-school routines, mornings, and chores. The Time Timer uses a colored disk to make time visible. It quietly shows how much time is left for any task, then beeps three times when time is up.

Besides helping my daughter stay on track with homework, our family used visual timers in several ways this past week:

- Packing Lunches: Each afternoon, my kids and I pack their school lunches together. While they'd prefer that I handle it, I want them to learn this skill for themselves. When we work as a team, it's a quick task—usually under 10 minutes. The visual timer helps us stay focused and move on to something (often more fun) afterward.

- Setting the Table: Our kids take turns setting the dinner table. It's not their favorite chore, but it only takes about five minutes. The visual timer shows just how quickly it can be finished, especially when everyone stays on track.

- iPad Time: We have set limits on recreational screen time. The visual timer lets our kids see exactly how much time remains, making it easier to wrap up and transition when time is up.

- Eating Breakfast: Breakfast doesn't have to take all morning, but sometimes the kids enjoy lingering over their meal, especially when it comes to drinking their milk. Having a 15-minute window for breakfast helps everyone stay on schedule and makes mornings less rushed as we get ready for school.

I also started using the Time Timer in my office with the Pomodoro Technique to stay focused and manage my growing to-do list. I even use it for online shopping, so I don't lose track of time

Image summary: A photograph showing three square Time Timer visual clocks lined up on a windowsill. Each clock features a circular dial with a colored disk that shrinks as time elapses, indicating the remaining time. The left clock has a green disk set to approximately 15 minutes, the center clock has a pinkish disk set to approximately 30 minutes, and the right clock has a blue disk set to approximately 45 minutes.

Once I noticed the power of the visual timers, I purchased two more so we can keep them in various places in our home.

It's important for my daughter to see that everyone in our family uses visual timers. This helps destigmatize her differences in time perception and shows that these tools can help all of us in different ways.

Being on time matters. So does having free time and feeling less stressed. For now, we'll keep using visual timers throughout our home.

One more thing. Before the first day of school, I chatted with my daughter about how long each step of her morning routine takes. Based on her responses, I created a couple of graphics to help her envision how long things should take in the morning (so she's ready before the school bus). For an older student, a written reminder—when needed—of how long things should take pairs nicely with the visual timer.

Image summary: A pie chart titled One-Hour Morning Routine (60 minutes total) illustrates the time allocation for various morning tasks. The chart is divided into segments representing specific activities, with the largest portion being 20 minutes for eating breakfast and taking medicine. Other segments include 10 minutes for doing hair; 5 minutes each for getting dressed and related tasks, and packing lunch and related items; 3 minutes for brushing teeth; 2 minutes for putting on shoes and a jacket; and 5 minutes for using the bathroom and related hygiene tasks. A legend on the right color-codes these activities to their corresponding slices in the chart.

I used Perplexity to type in how long each part of the morning routine took. Using a variety of prompts, I had it create a color-coded table and a pie chart view of the one-hour morning routine.

I don't have all the answers. After 15 years of parenting, I'm still learning and adjusting what works for our family. Have you found any tools that make time more tangible for your child?