How I Use Deadlines to Change and Declutter My Life

How I Use Deadlines to Change and Declutter My Life

About Me

At the time of writing this book I am 82 years young. Although I don't hold a PhD degree in any science, life itself has bestowed me with a Q.B.E (Qualified By Experience) that entitles me to share my thoughts with you. Born in war-torn Berlin, Germany, in 1944, I was diagnosed with a common disease at the time: poverty. The recommended cure is to make money. From a young age my parents taught me that money is not given but has to be earned. I had to earn my pocket money by carrying out day-to-day household chores. At first I rebelled, but when an elderly neighbour offered to pay me for lighting her central heating before going to school, I realized the opportunities that were awaiting me even at a young age. In my second school year I had four jobs: two before and two after school. I cured our poverty!

Chapter One How to Become a Dopamine Junkie

From birth we are brought up with rules, within our family and society in general. If we break these rules we are disciplined — punished. In time we become law-abiding citizens, following century-old norms of going to school, getting a job, getting married, acquiring a home, raising a family and establishing our very own comfort zone that we are seldom prepared to give up, change or leave altogether. With only a minor variation, when I immigrated to South Africa for better-paid job opportunities, I had become part of the norm, a ninety-five percenter. In his book No Excuses: The Power of Self-Discipline, Brian Tracy talks about the 95% of people that live on “One day I'll”. How often have I been guilty of leaving things until tomorrow, or the next day, or the next? To finally do it grudgingly, or not at all. I am the first to shout: “Guilty!” Only when I changed my mindset to take action immediately did I feel that dopamine rush of accomplishment. Dopamine is a “feel-good” drug the body rewards us with on completion of a task one has avoided or did not believe to be capable of. By overcoming procrastination one keeps one's body in a permanent feel-good state: content and happy. There is no place for anxiety anymore. You are on top of things, up to date, ready to do what you like!

Chapter Two Adversity Forces Change

Unfortunately, only adverse, life-changing events force us to change. Be it retrenchment, divorce, a severe accident or the diagnosis of a potentially fatal health condition. Gone is the comfort zone; time to take stock and reconsider the future. I cannot help you in these decisions; but maybe this book will help you to adjust your mindset to facilitate change. I believe setting goals is a good start, but setting “Deadlines” is a better option. Let me explain with some of my own successes:

Chapter Three Deadline: How to Stop Smoking

I was what one could call a “connoisseur” smoker: unfiltered Texan cigarettes during the day or cigarillos in longer breaks. A cigar or pipe after dinner. Not excessive, rather exquisite. Quality over quantity. After smoking for close to twenty-five years and several unsuccessful attempts to quit, a new girlfriend finally gave me an ultimatum. After enjoying one of my special dinners, we were cuddled up on the settee. I leaned over to kiss her, and she pulled away: “Sorry, but I don't like the smoky smell on your breath.” Deadline: Kiss or Smoke? What would you do? I could have cleaned my teeth and tried again, but that would have only been a temporary solution. Instead I got up and threw the nearly full packet into the trash bin, never to touch it again. It took a while for the nicotine stains to fade from my fingers, and my taste buds to fully recover; but that in itself was worth giving up for. But then, have they not warned us for years that smoking can cause cancer and death? It seems it takes a face-to-face ultimatum to finally drive the point home.

Chapter Four Deadline: Downsize to 30 kilograms Only

In the year 2000 we accepted a job offer in Scotland.

Uncertain about working back in Europe after thirty-six years in South Africa, we rented our house out fully furnished for one year, with an option to renew on an annual basis. At the time the baggage allowance was 30 kilograms each, plus 7 kilograms hand luggage. That is what we took, and pretty much stuck to for the next twenty-five years. By the time the first year's rental of our house came up for renewal we were so well established in Europe, and convinced that we would not return to South Africa, that we sold the house, as is, furniture and all. It was the best decision at the time, setting us free to travel and work on three continents of the world for the next seventeen years. When we returned to South Africa to retire, we were so used to our simple lifestyle that, instead of buying a house, we rented a fully furnished cottage in a beautiful seaside town on the West Coast. Now we enjoy a simple, uncluttered lifestyle, with the option of moving on at a moment's notice. Who can say that?

Chapter Five Deadline: How to Give Up Alcohol

Some people battle to give up alcohol. They try by joining A.A (Alcoholics Anonymous), they admit themselves, or are admitted by family members to rehabilitation clinics; mostly falling back into the habit again. I started off as a social drinker, with a glass or two of wine at dinner time. That escalated to pre-dinner drinks. Soon I mixed the first drink as I entered the house after work. And that's how it progressed, step by step. Every now and then I would manage to cut back for a while; but the whiles became shorter and shorter. In 2011 we moved to Cambodia and committed ourselves to a five-year contract as Volunteer General Managers of a hotel school preparing orphans and underprivileged youth for entry into the hospitality industry. In Cambodia beer was cheaper than water, and high temperatures and humidity provided an excellent excuse to drink more liquid; in my case, beer. Our off-days we spent on Koh Rong, a tropical island in the Gulf of Thailand. Three hours by ferry from the mainland, this island was heaven for us; this is where we went to party and had a good time. In late 2016 came the turning point: Michele and I were offered hospitality training jobs on the island as soon as our contract ran out in the hotel school. Our dream and second chance of living and working on a tropical island. But my conscience warned me that partying and working on an island were not the same. I could not drink alcohol the way I drank it at night, and teach the staff the next morning. It just was not right. One or two drinks may have been alright; but would I be able to stop when the guests around me were having a good time and getting drunk? I could not take a chance on it, nor was I prepared to let my employers down. We had three months to confirm our arrival. On New Year's Eve 2016/17, at midnight I announced: "No more for me, thank you. I am done with alcohol for good." The rest is history: we are now in 2026 and I have been off the booze for close on ten years. Do you know how good it feels to always have money in my pocket that I would otherwise have "pissed against the wall."

Chapter Six Deadline: Deal with Health Issues

1. Age-Related Peripheral Artery Disease (pad)

From January 2005 to September 2011 Michele and I worked as butlers on a private estate in Switzerland. It was a highly demanding job with long hours. With one of us required to be on the property at all times, we staggered our lunch breaks. We had both joined a local gym, mainly to lose weight, and took turns. I went in the mornings and shopped for the day's dinner menu on the way back. Michele went in the afternoon when her housework was done and I was busy preparing our principal's dinner. I did not think anything was wrong when my leg muscles ached at night from the unaccustomed exercises. The local chemist gave me Brufen, an anti-inflammatory, that helped, so I didn't give it a thought until a fountain of blood sprayed against the glass shower door. With help from Michele we managed to stop the blood flow with a tight bandage. The local G.P cauterised the vein the next morning and referred me to a cardiologist for further investigation, after taking me off Brufen, which he said was a blood thinner and not recommended in my case. The cardiologist did his tests and told me that I suffered from a common age-related disease: Peripheral Artery Disease, a narrowing of the arteries that prevented regular blood circulation in the lower leg. The best option to prevent recurring bleeding was a simple operation that required rest for ten to fourteen days. My excuse to procrastinate was, apart from the expected pain, my work. How would my principals react to me taking two weeks off? — which was of course utter nonsense. This decision would haunt me for the next seventeen years.

The first serious recurrence took place in 2012 on one of our first visits to Koh Rong island. Walking barefoot through a thicket of bush separating two white-sand beaches, I cut the instep of my right foot on a sharp bit of severed root. It wasn't a deep cut that required stitches, just cleaning up, some ointment and a bandage. It turned out not to be that simple. The wound would not heal, started to fester and required several treatments in the local clinic and strong antibiotics to finally close up.

In a previous chapter I wrote how we accepted a hospitality training job on Koh Rong island in March 2017. It was our third chance at living on a tropical island after Grenada and Isla Margarita in the Caribbean. Having visited this island at least a dozen times over the last five years was to our advantage now and we settled in easily. Roy, the resort owner, accommodated us in a stilted bamboo bungalow less than ten metres from the high-water mark. It was a dream come true to descend one floor of stairs, run across a short stretch of white-sand beach and plunge into the warm, crystal-clear waters of the bay.

After receiving repeated complaints about bites by resort guests, I Googled how one can deal with these vicious insects. Unlike mosquitoes that sting and suck your blood, causing a temporary itch, the sandfly stings and deposits larvae under your skin. Scratching opens up nasty sores that take days to heal, with itchy red blotches. We had guests check out after one day on the beach. Google recommended that the beach should be raked to expose the sandfly eggs to the heat of the sun, dry them out and prevent them from hatching. I ordered two steel rakes from the mainland; had them welded together into one wide rake that covered one metre. Gripping a handle in each hand I pulled this double-width rake behind me every morning at sunrise. It took less than an hour to rake the most visited stretch of the resort beach. It worked — after one week we had no more complaints from our guests.

By June I could feel the effects of abstaining from alcohol, and my daily morning exercises: I had lost fifteen kilograms. Deeply tanned and lean, our barman started calling me David, after the Baywatch T.V personality.

But my wellbeing soon came to an end. The insects that I tried so hard to keep in check took their revenge and stung me in the soft flesh around my tight ankle. By the time I realised that it was not a mosquito bite, these stings had opened up into blisters that ointments did not cure. The only way out was to go for treatment on the mainland; a three-and-a-half-hour trip by ferry in the morning, a consultation in the clinic, an overnight stay in town, with a lengthy return trip to the island. Quite an ordeal. The doctor at the clinic cleaned and dressed the wound, and gave me ointments, bandages and strong antibiotics to take with me to the island. Despite the medication and regular bandage changes the wound got deeper and bigger. Two weeks later I took a picture of the ankle and sent it to Michele who was looking after her mother in South Africa, who was recovering from a heart attack. When she showed the picture to a pharmacist specialising in leg wounds, the verdict was immediate and urgent: “Peter you need to get off that island now, before gangrene sets in and you lose your leg to the knee!”

Not trusting the local clinic, Michele came to take us back to South Africa for treatment. When she got to the resort a week later I was too weak to walk and had to be lifted onto the ferry. It took three months of specialist treatment to heal the wound this time. The doctor recommended surgery and sent me to a cardiologist in preparation. I was fortunate to be the cardiologist was a professor at the University of the Witwatersrand standing in for a colleague on sick leave. Her verdict was straight and to the point: “You are borderline; I would not recommend an operation, rather a compression stocking and cardio exercising in a gym to improve blood circulation in your legs.” I will talk about the gym in another chapter, let me finish my pad history first.

I don't know if you have ever tried to pull on a compression stocking? The first pair the specialist measured me up for was an absolute ordeal to pull on, they were so tight, it took Michele and myself to get them on. Despite exercising in the gym and wearing the compression stocking, leg ulcers kept on recurring between 2018 and 2024 on a regular basis. One ulcer would heal and six to eight months later another would burst open. In May 2024 my local municipal clinic referred me to the regional clinic where they had the latest equipment to test my blood circulation. These tests showed a very different result: my arteries were supplying sufficient blood to my leg, but faulty vein valves stopped the total amount of blood from returning to the heart. A simple adjustment to the stocking, far looser and easier to manage on my own, seemed to have solved the situation. It's now been two years since my last leg ulcer.

Chapter Seven Deadline: Keeping Fit

Our return from Cambodia in October 2017 was marred by the breakdown of my immune system caused by an over-dosage of strong antibiotics without complementing probiotics. Only by February 2018 had I recovered sufficient strength to start exercising in the gym.

The hardest part is that first step through the door. Once signed up and committed to a twelve-month membership — by far the cheapest option — do not try to do it on your own. You are likely to hurt yourself and give it up before you get going. Believe me, I have watched it every year for the last eight years. The New Year's Resolutionists come in and are gone by February due to injuries, mainly in the shoulders, our weakest joint.

Hire a Professional Trainer for three to six months. He keeps you motivated and free of injury.

Michele and I both hired Cuthbert, a trainer at Virgin Active Gym in Boksburg, South Africa. Michele requested a body-toning programme; my goal was to get fit before my 75th birthday, 11 months down the line. “Write it on your bathroom mirror: 'Fit @ 75',” he said. A younger man close to us said, “I print T-shirts, I'll print you one.” Four days later he handed me two black T-shirts — Fit at 75 — they became my trademark and an inspiration to other, younger gym attendees. From then on I have been adding a new number each birthday. This year I had to invest in a new vest as the others were wearing thin. This year my motto is: “Staying Fit @ 82” on the front and: “Mindset – Exercise – Nutrition – Lifestyle – @ peterHenKal dot com” on the back — my author website.

Happy with my weight at 96 kilograms at 1.85 metres, I concentrated on a cardio warm-up of 5 to 10 minutes on the treadmill, followed by an hour of weight training with dumbbells and machines. As we train five days a week we rotate our training every day, to work all muscle groups:

- Day 1: Chest, Shoulders & Triceps

• Day 2: Back & Biceps - Day 3: Legs & Abs Then repeat. Saturdays and Sundays are rest days. For me this routine has worked well for the last eight years. I have nothing to prove. I train to maintain my stamina and muscle function.

Michele, who is 18 years my junior, takes her training far more seriously. She attends cardio or Pilates classes between 8 and 9 am, trains with me between 10:30 and midday, and goes to spinning classes twice a week from 5 to 6 pm. I must say, at 64 she looks terrific with the energy of a woman half her age!

Despite my impaired vision and hesitant walk I feel and look fit for my age; but I contribute that not only to our fitness training but also to our eating habits and nutrition, which I will talk about in my next chapter.

For more in-depth information I recommend you read my ebook Staying Fit at 70, 80 and Beyond, available on my website: {peterHenKal dot com}

Chapter Eight Deadline: Wholesome Nutrition

Number One Rule: Stop eating processed food. Do not eat anything that has a long list of ingredients and preservatives on the packaging. The ingredients on that list are mandatory for food preservation — not for your health or life preservation. In fact, quite the opposite.

Eat fresh! Make your own sauces and condiments! YouTube makes it easy for any novice to prepare a nutritious, simple meal. Get fancy and adventurous for dinner parties — keep day-to-day meals simple and quick.

We start our day by microwaving four beaten eggs, two tablespoons of cooked oats and one sliced banana to a soft scramble. At lunchtime, after our workout in the gym, we eat chicken fillets, grilled fish fillets or beef steaks/burgers fried in dairy butter, together with a simple salad of grated beetroot, carrots, celery, cucumber, apple cider vinegar, olive oil, salt and pepper. That simple nutritious salad keeps for days in the refrigerator and complements all fried or grilled food. And that's it. In the evening a piece of fruit, or some cheese on sourdough bread. A mug of coffee first thing in the morning and with our midday meal. Three litres of water in the gym and during the rest of the day.

In winter we have stews with all of the above meats and vegetables plus beans, cabbage and pumpkin. I buy 3 kilograms of ground beef brisket: 1 kilograms for burgers, 1 kilograms for Bolognese sauce and with 1 kilograms I make salami for curing. One mixture of ground beef and spices for three applications. Quick, simple and easy.

The next question is: When to eat? That will depend entirely on you and your lifestyle. Everyone of us is unique. Don't go by the norm of three meals a day; nor with a bodybuilder's 6 meals a day to get to 3000+ calories. An average, active person burns around 1800 to 2200 calories per day. Use that as a starting point and adjust from there. A good breakfast, a hearty lunch and a small snack in the evening, before 8 pm, should be optimal. No snacking please! Just drink water or have a black coffee.

Over the last eight years I have experimented with intermittent fasting, and prolonged fasting. The latter is a good way to purge your body, but take care to consult your G.P before you start.

Dieting is a term used to lose weight; it is human nature that, if you lose something, you will look for it until you get it back. — Whoops! A far better word would be “to shed weight” — get rid of it once and for all. Establish a sensible nutritional plan that you feel comfortable with, and let your belt be the judge.

For more in-depth information I recommend you read my ebook Staying Fit at 70, 80 and Beyond, available on my website: {peterHenKal dot com}

Chapter Nine Deadline: Take Control of Your Finances

Going back to the sixties, when insurance agents knocked on my door, I was led to believe that I would be well provided for by investing 10 bucks a month. With an estimated monthly pension of one thousand bucks this seemed fine. As time went by more annuities were added to take care of inflation.

We were only able to really start saving when we were working on private estates in Europe. From 2018 we used the services of a financial advisor, who invested the majority of our savings in low-risk portfolios. Some money we invested with our bank at 7.5% with 24-hour notice.

In my annual meetings with my financial advisor, there was always only gloom. Bad times and the poor economy, or Covid, were his excuses for lower than 6% returns. When my ophthalmologist recommended a cataract operation at 50,000 bucks, I needed to withdraw 50k from a notice account at 7.5%. In a last consultation the ophthalmologist said, “Due to your macular degeneration you must not expect miracles.” On my 20-kilometre drive home I repeated that last-minute statement to my friend who had driven me. “Doesn't sound very positive, does it?” she said. My sentiments entirely. I borrowed her phone and cancelled the operation. The next morning I returned to the bank to reinvest the fifty thousand. The same lady that had handled the withdrawal served me. “Can I reinvest in the same account at 7.5% again?” I said hopefully. “No you can't, we have to open a new account; but don't worry — the rates have gone up. I can now give you 8.5% and if you invest online you can get even better.”

The next morning I phoned my financial advisor to come to my cottage that afternoon. Then I walked to the bank with my tablet and had myself connected online. Now I got 9% interest on my 50k. That afternoon my financial advisor was most apologetic; this time it was Covid that had dropped my investments to below 6%. “Can you please cash me up,” I said, telling him of my experience at the bank. He did not protest. Three months later I was reinvested in short-term and five-year fixed deposits as high as 12%. For the first time in my life I am in complete control of my finances.

The only monthly uncertainty was our twenty-year-old Renault Clio. Nursed by Michele like a baby it was spotless inside and out, but the engine, shocks and clutch were costing us every month more than the lost interest on the amount for a new car. In December 2025 we bought a brand-new Suzuki Baleno automatic with a seven-year warranty and maintenance plan. No more surprise bills, and a very, very happy wife. What's the proverb? “A happy wife is a happy life.”

Chapter Ten Deadline: Unclutter

With children grown up and out of the house, it is time “to unclutter” your life.

We started in 1992 when we moved from Johannesburg to the Western Cape coast. At first, unsure of what we would do professionally, we placed our furniture in storage and rented a house. When we both started work in a small country inn, me as a trainee chef and Michele in the front office, we lived on the premises. When I left after three years, to get experience in other restaurant and hotel kitchens in the area, we bought a modest one-bedroom house we could afford at the time. By adding two en-suite, self-contained outrooms, we could run a small B&B with a small restaurant in our open-plan kitchen, lounge and veranda. A start to our own business within our field of expertise. No staff required; just the two of us, the way we liked to work.

Not really uncluttering or downsizing, but turning a liability into an asset. What? — you will say; a house is an asset not a liability. Think about it: unless a house provides an income, it is a liability — it costs you money every month. Your house only becomes an asset when you sell it at a profit, bearing in mind what you spent on it over the years. We at first rented our house out, and when we thought we would not return but carry on travelling, we sold our house, lock, stock and barrel.

From 2000 on, when we left South Africa to work abroad, we had live-in jobs. No need to buy or rent. In fact we were 30 kilograms and 7 kilograms luggage nomads; ready to move on at a moment's notice! Do you know how liberating that is? To be able to accept opportunities anywhere in the world?

Even when we returned 17 years later, we stuck to the 50 kilograms rule. We rent a fully furnished one-bedroom garden cottage in the quiet part of our seaside town and could not be happier.

The purchase money a house or apartment would have cost us is invested in the bank and available at short notice. We live off part of the interest, while our capital still grows. No clutter — no liabilities!

Chapter Eleven Deadline: Plan Your Later Years

I remember clearly how, during the first year as an artisan, my elders were counting the years left to their retirement at age sixty-five. How they would move to the country, away from big-city Berlin. At nineteen years of age this idea seemed absurd to me; how could they wish their life away? But, I suppose, that was the mentality at the time.

I also remember inviting a depressed elderly guest to accompany me and my German Shepherd dogs on a walk through the forest, thirty years later. Stopping near a small waterfall, this guest broke into tears. “What's the matter?” I said. “Last month I turned sixty-five,” he burst out, “and got retrenched. When we get home from this trip, I won't know what to do.” It turned out he had been a fundraiser all his life for a major charity that brought in a younger, more dynamic person to take over from him.

The reason I remember and mention these two opposing retirement sentiments are: In the case of my elders at my factory, I ask myself: Were they not wasting their time working in a job purely for money? Why not change into a profession that pays the bills, and is stimulating enough to forget about retirement? In the second case; should your work preclude all other interests?

As I mentioned earlier; I was money-driven from a young age. During my apprenticeship I specialised in the highest-paying activity within my trade: boring mill operator. When there were only a few companies in South Africa that could employ me, I changed into steel construction with hundreds of well-paying jobs. I picked the one with unlimited overtime. By working 100 hours per week I could buy my first car, brand new, out of the box, for cash, after four months. I was twenty years old. Over the next five decades I reinvented myself five times. When steel construction slowed down, I changed into the up-and-coming field of plastics. When radial tyres replaced cross-ply tyres, I was there. A concrete product I had seen on a visit to Germany made me start my own business. Selling the business five years later set me free to follow my passion for cooking; I became a professional chef, then a private chef for more money. Next my wife and I became professional butlers, for the highest salary in hospitality. All the while travelling and working all over the world. Six years ago, on our return to South Africa, I started writing. Now, aged 82, I am busier than ever; most definitely no thought of retiring!

Yesterday I met Fredi, a German gentleman aged 98. He was amazing — every word he spoke was positive! No time to retire; he loves woodwork.

Planning for your later years is important:

- Move to a small accommodation — nothing bigger than a 2-bedroom, ground-floor unit.

Keep only what you really Need, not what you Want. • Join a gym — walking only is not enough; you need resistance training to maintain muscle mass and bone density.

- Eat only freshly prepared foods, no processed food.

• Start a new, or pursue an existing hobby.

• Socialise with like-minded people.

• Engage in community projects.

- Have regular health checks.

• Avoid unnecessary medication.

• Keep a positive attitude.